its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
