Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
