Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
