I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
