so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
