He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
