margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
