goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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