Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
