the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
