How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
