Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've blown a few things in my day
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
