Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
