did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
