He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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