Is it normal to miss your booty call?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
