Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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