You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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