So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
