I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
