wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
