singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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