Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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