My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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