I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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