Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
