What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
