there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
