I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
