not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
