I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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