smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
