i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
two words...techno handjob
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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