Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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