I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
