If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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