Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I will be naked everywhere
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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