Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
