when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
