If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
