My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
