i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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