No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
