is your mom at the bar?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
