Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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