I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize