ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
