he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
