pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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