you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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