Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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