Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize