Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
