Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
