I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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