Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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