nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
