I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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