brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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