I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
