i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
